Regression.

Don't eat sugar. Seriously, just--don't do it. Do me a favor, right now, take my word for it. STOP EATING SUGAR.

Things I've been eating that I just have not been enjoying:

• Trail mix w/ dried fruit and chocolate
• Trail mix is satan's way of attacking healthy food. It is such TRICKERY! It's not the least bit good for you. Yeah, you're getting nuts. But they're roasted to oblivion, covered in sugary/salty crap, and you eat about 1.5 almonds and 2 cashews to every nine dried cranberries and 6 chocolate chips. It's all lies. I never, ever feel good after I eat it.
• Which regresses further into: yogurt covered raisins
• WHAT AM I DOING? That is ridiculous. Absolute lunacy. It's one of those things where I justify it because "I'm already eating all this other crap, why not." But I just felt sad as I ate it. Sad is never how food should make you. Ever.
• Bread (croissants, chunks of bread from coffee shops, etc)
• Again, welcome to the, "screw it" mentality of dieting, when you're like, I've already had a ton of sugar today. I am having a 2 second craving for it, and I'm sure it'll be delicious. Which, most of the time, it's not too bad. But again, so much sad as I eat it. When it's over, I feel chaulky and thick. And then I regressed further to buying a $2.99 box of croissants from Kroger. ALERT: These are not food. They lied. It's plastic. I promise.
• Pasta/Rice/Pizza
• Minimal intake, but when I've had it over the past couple weeks, I've been struck at how little it seemed like food in my mouth. Anything that thick and pasty as I chew it just concerns me. 
• Popcorn
• Yeah--I didn't enjoy popcorn when I ate it last night!!! What?! It was just that same "non-food" feeling as I ate it. Didn't taste how I expected it would. And certainly didn't satisfy any hunger cravings. Just kept me awake while I was at work
• Coffee/Energy Drinks 
• As of July 26th, I may swear off coffee and energy drinks for the rest of my life. At least for a very, very long time. I have to drink about 32 ounces of caffeine per 8 hr graveyard shift. I can't do it otherwise. And even with it, I'm a demonic sight by 8am and my coworkers are, justifiably, terrified of me.
• Juice
• Pomegranate juice is lies. Just don't do it.
• Ice Cream
• It's cold, it's sweet. Yawn. I feel so terrible about eating sugar that even as delicious as it may be, I can't enjoy it.

Things I've been eating that I actually have been enjoying:

• Pretty much anything out of my boyfriend's kitchen
• Chris has battled weight for even longer than I have, and has done the lose/give up/gain/lose/give up/gain cycle many more times than I have. Therefore, there's a bit of inner-strength and stamina inside him that I believe has helped him stay steadier in his eating habits. He buys almost all local and organic. Can I please be more like him? I'm so grateful for the meals of flavorful meat, eggs, fresh veggies, and delicious cooked veggies we share.
• Sweet Tea
• May have sugar, but I'm not gonna lie, I did thoroughly enjoy a can of peach sweet tea I got from QuikTrip the other day.
• Blueberries 
• I picked blueberries with my friend Michael and his family the other day, and it has been such a refreshing, guilt-free treat. I've been eating a lot of fruit lately actually, and it is fantastic. I feel great eating it in moderation.

This isn't the hearty post I have welled up inside me. I have so many words about the Peachtree Road Race, about swimming, about eating and unhealthy relationships with food. Maybe these words will come out more profoundly after a few days.

Two weeks of the graveyard shift left. After that, when my schedule gets back to normalcy, I'm going to seriously spend a lot of my energy focusing on balance. Food, exercise, and sleep. I can't stress the sleep part enough.

TTFN.