I'M CALLING B.S.!!!!

Despite the lack of posting, I haven't been slacking in my nutrition and fitness adventures. Actually, I've been on pace with running and working out steadily for a while. Now eating healthfully, and consistently at that... well, Rome wasn't built in a day.

Anyway, I recently joined a gym here in Athens and was given a free personal training session. Alright! I thought. Time to get some awesome expert opinions and some help targeting my trouble areas! In some ways, the guy I met with was great. Here's my review.

What Was Great:


1. He opened my mind to switching up my workout routine. I forgot how much muscle memory can mess you up, and truth be told, I mostly only do the same body weight exercises, and running, every week day in and day out. This is the biggest reason I'm excited to be back in a gym at all!

2. He pushed me. When we got on the actual floor of the gym and he got me doing some stuff, he didn't take it easy on me. He critiqued where I was slacking, when my abs/glutes/shoulders needed to be tighter, and where my legs/back/neck needed to be straighter. All that. It was really helpful!

3. He broke my "12" habit. He made me do everything 15 times (which I SWEAR was like 20... he was not good at keeping count...). When I would get to like, number 8, I was devastated that we were only halfway there. Who knew you could get so attached to doing 12 reps of something? Weird.

4. I realized I'm not as near to my "desired functional fitness" level as I thought I was. By making me do new workouts and keep different areas tighter/straighter and my movements smoother... it made the workout entirely new.

For those reasons, I'm contemplating getting a personal trainer for the next 6 months. I love the idea of having someone help me push myself and find new barriers to slam through!

What Was Not-So-Great:


1. "So for breakfast you wanna make sure you have some whole wheat, whole grains, you know, complex carbs to keep your blood sugar from dropping too quickly. A couple hours later you want a simple sugar like fruit to spike up that blood sugar before you go in for lunch..." Whoa, whoa, whoa buddy! You're talkin' to Atkins-meets-Paleo chick over here! Do you have any idea that the "whole grain oatmeal" you want me to nom hard on at 8am is more carbs than I've been consuming in my whole day? Granted, I have backed down from the counting, and moved more into a relaxed consumption of healthier foods (except for the bad days. I may post about that soon), so the carb count is probably a bit higher than it was when I was in the induction phase of Atkins. But this guy really started warping my brain when he talked about how important carbs were. I had to use everything in me to remind myself that I don't buy into the grain-game! 


2. When I got there, he did a BMI measurement thing. I was stoked, because some of you may remember I got my BMI done back in August when I was just starting to really work out. Well back in August, when I weighed in at 217, my body fat percentage was 35%. 


Today, when I got it checked, I weighed in at 185, and the percentage was 36.5%.
Yeah, so according to these "measurements," I lost 32 pounds and somehow... I'm trying to wrap my brain around "what this data would mean".... Somehow I lost more muscle than fat? I don't get it. I absolutely don't get it. In fact, when he told me it was 36.5 I was stunned. That can't be right... because that... that means... "You're in the obese category." (his words to me)


...


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OBESE? 
Oh, honey, I'm sorry. WAT. I'm obese? Now, I got this information before we worked out. After the session was over, I proceeded to walk to my car, drive out of the parking lot, and begin an all out wailing-session of tears and anguish for about 10 inconsolable minutes. How do you lose 40 pounds and still be considered obese? I was lost. I couldn't find reality. I felt like the past year of my life was almost a waste. Somewhere in the back of my head a quiet voice tried to remind me of all my accomplishments, and that I was so much healthier than I was, all of that. But the louder voice was furious that I was fat--excuse me, obese--after a year of effort. When people like my roommates eat straight up garbage and don't seem to gain a pound.  "It isn't fair!" I felt my head-voice screaming. 

After some tearful--sobering, yet embarrassing--phone calls with my confused-yet-supportive dad and my ridiculously-encouraging boyfriend (I don't know how he makes the most sensible notions come across so encouraging, but I bet it has something to do with enlightenment. Christopher can be a modern day Buddha and he doesn't even know it), I began to feel stabilized again and successfully maneuvered my way through Kroger, loading up on healthy foods to sustain me and my broken heart (I know, I'm being dramatic). 


I just wanted to give up, as if giving up suddenly meant I could have all the results and success I wanted without all the emotional turmoil. Turns out that's not the case, and the truth hurts.

So I came home and wanted to do some research about this "BMI" thing. First of all, I'd thought when I did this before in August last year it was 38%. So I was like, "Okay, not too bad, only lost 1.5%." But when I found out it was supposedly HIGHER? I was DONE. That was when I literally shouted "I'M CALLING B.S.!!!!"

I then googled "calculate your BMI." The first two only asked your weight and height. According to those, my body fat percentage is 28%. (Which, under 25% is a healthy weight. 25%-30% is obese. Oh, and 40% or higher is morbidly obese. Just so you know.) I just did another one that asks your body measurements. 40.2%

Yup.

So, kids, what have we learned today?


1. Don't take anything at face value other than how YOU feel. 

I've been feeling amazing lately--I've been running, hitting the gym, and working on my eating habits daily. I was so encouraged that I walked into that gym today feeling on top of the world. When I found out that BMI information, I broke down. I took it as 100% truth and let my guard down. The thing was, I knew I wasn't at my fitness goal yet, but I still, for some reason, expected a lot of praise. Which leads us to lesson #2:

2. Just chunk all your expectations in the garbage. Because you're always going to be wrong.

If you're right, then you spent way too much time analyzing it and you're way too aware of reality, and probably lead a really depressing life. Otherwise, if you're like the rest of us who are always, routinely disappointed by the world not being like our expectations--just let it go. You'll be so much happier with however life goes that it won't matter if strangers don't praise you for your accomplishments. That trainer guy never saw me at my heaviest, he only met the girl he saw today. I can't hold that against him... I don't even want to!

3. More about this BMI thing--don't rely on numbers to determine what sort of person you are.

Yeah, I'm aware that I want (and need to, for health and longevity purposes) to lose 30 more pounds. I'm aware that I carry most of my weight in my tummy, and in my upper thighs. I don't think I'm perfect, and I know I have lots of room for improvement. But counting calories, pounds, carbs, body percentages, miles, times, all that--it drives me crazy! I look forward to one day finally being in my target fitness level and not having to constantly wonder what the scale says. When I slide on a pair of size 8 jeans and never worry again about my belly looking unsightly--that's the day I know I achieved my goal, not when the scale says 170. It's just hard to wrap our brains around that.
*and yes, I realize that size 8 is a number. See though? It's like, impossible to escape. I'm trying. I'm preaching lessons to myself too, ya'll, don't think I'm nearly self-righteous enough to talk to you like I've already conquered all this.

Stay hopeful my friends, stay full of life. Please, please believe in your dreams. I know that mine took a crushing blow today, but with some research, good friends, and faith... I am back on track and more of a believer than ever.